Discrimination, Disrespect, & Lost Opportunities
Today is November 18, 2022. I originally wrote this last year but decided to hold in until now.
From November 2021:
I try to focus most of my writing around the built environment, but at times I return to thoughts on life. The built environment and life are so intertwined that I presume speaking about one is speaking about the other.
This flow of thought is centered around an incident from high school football here in San Diego. The story revolves around two perennially dominant teams: one from the pristine beach city, the other from an underserved community close to where I grew up and live.
Last year, these rivals were set to face off in an anticipated game between ranked teams. Prior to the game, the beach school had a student wearing a shirt saying “Catholics vs. Convicts 3,” a reference to the famous 1988 Catholics vs. Convicts games between the University of Notre Dame and the University of Miami.
There was a great controversy to the original 1988 game and the one in 2020-2021 amongst high schoolers in San Diego. Due to the recent incident, two students and the football coach of the beach team were suspended, the entire team was placed on probation, and multiple apologies were issued. Indeed, high schoolers make poor decisions that are disruptive, but even for an incident like this, limits need to be made. It should be noted that the beach city team crushed the inner city team 41-0 in that game.
This is not the first incident focused on the inner city team with a predominately black roster. Two years ago, at another coastal city north of San Diego, slurs and obscenities were shouted by the opposing team’s fans toward the team, cheer squad, and staff. Yes, this occurred by adults which shows the true root of the issue. It’s not always the kids, it can also be their parents.
This season, the inner city team and the beach team were slotted to meet again. Unfortunately, the coach for the inner city team decided to forfeit the game because he felt this issue was “larger than football” and not enough had been done about the previous incident. Many came out in support of this decision. I believe there was a missed opportunity here; an opportunity to utilize this very real situation to teach important life lessons.
The coach is correct, this issue is larger than football. It has been, and is still a problem that plagues societies around the world. It is a problem that has existed forever, and could very well persist forever. Discrimination is a human issue, a flaw that smears our tremendous gifts and accomplishments.
I wished they would have played the game. Even in defeat, the inner city team would have learned great lessons. A great coach, not only a great football coach, but a tremendous coach in life, could have guided that team through this tumultuous time.
I am not a football coach , but I have navigated treacherous conditions fraught with uncertainty, potential unfairness, and discrimination. My father was born in 1933 in Jim Crowe Georgia. He was a product of the civil rights era. A gift he gave me was to never shield me from the truth of the human condition. I am fortunate to have had his instruction even though we never had the opportunity to speak of similar topics as adults.
I am not a football coach but I have played football. If I was the coach of the inner city team, we would have played the game. If I was the football coach, a coach of life, this would have been the message I would have delivered to the team that week.
It is important to note that a football game is played during the whole week, not just when the official game begins. The game week is about practice, preparation, discipline, and focus. This “speech” would have been my thoughts delivered to the team during the course of game week.
After Practice Speech:
” Men, this is a pivotal moment in this phase of your budding lives. Last year, when this journey began, we were crushed by our opponents 41-0. We were soundly defeated. The circumstances of that game did more to demoralize our spirits and the morale of our community. Right now, WE have a choice. Right now, WE have the choice to take the next steps on this journey. Our first choice is to show up and play. Many people want us to forfeit this game to send a message to the other team and society. This situation is bigger than football, this is YOUR life. We WILL show up on Friday and we WILL play to the best of our ability. We will not run, hid, or cower from this situation, we WILL show up and play. Life is not fair, and as men of color, life will sometimes be unfair to you. Are you going to quit and blame the world for your troubles? Are you going to blame someone else or are you going to take command and show up to the game? You have a choice.
In the next phases of your life off the field, you will need to show up. Some of you will go on to play football, some will go to college, some will not. It doesn’t matter what you do, you will need to show up. You will need to perform and complete the game. WE WILL ACCOMPLISH THAT ON FRIDAY, WE WILL SHOW UP. We don’t care about the win or loss, we will show up and perform and complete the process. In victory or defeat we will show up as a team and shake our opponents hands with dignity and respect when the game is complete. We show up.”
After Practice Speech - Mid Week:
”We will speak the truth and we will score. Last year we were soundly defeated. Discrimination doesn’t play on the football field. Were we beat by a bunch of students and their tee shirts? No, we were defeated by a football team that outplayed us. That was the past and we will let it go. Our focus in on the now. Our focus is on Friday.
Life will always try to use the past against you. Being black and brown means that there is a past that is weaponized against you before you were even born. That weapon is there to hold you down, to keep you complaining or passing blame. That is not us, we are here today, right now, and we put in the work! We will build. We will fight to win. We will man up and move the ball down the field to score. If we cannot do that against this team, we do not deserve to win. If you do not move your life forward in a positive direction, you do not deserve to win.
After Practice Speech - Day Before the Game:
“Men, with great odds comes a great opportunity to show what you are capable of. If football is more than life, we can show what we are made of. We can show that we come to perform at the best of our ability no matter the circumstances. You will always be tested. It’s not a color thing; a black or white thing. I challenge each one of you. What makes you great? What makes you deserving to be on this field against that other team? Are you composed enough? Jackie Robinson was. He stayed quiet and focused and continued to work. THAT IS WHAT IT TAKES. Shut your mouth, quit the talk, shed the criticism, and go out there and perform. We will show up. We will score. We will score again. We will stop them by not allowing these things to get under our skin. This is the game for us. We can accomplish that and we can win. We believe we can and we will.”
”In your life, you will be fronted with great challenges. I’ve been called every name in the book. I shed that talk through silence and focus on my work. They are words, but you will still need to get up and perform. The world is unjust sometimes, but you have a choice. You have a choice to find the way. You have a choice to get an education, and build. You have a choice to take a chance. You have a choice to keep going.
It is true, to make it you may have to work harder and be smart and tougher than the next guy. You may have to face obstructions that others do not have to face. You may find yourself at an impasse. You have a choice to turn away or stop. You have a choice to keep going, even if it means taking the tiniest steps. You have a choice. Keep pounding, keep moving, keep pushing, and a small crease will open. Others will see your output. And even when there is an overwhelming force trying to stop you, there are those that will begin to believe in you. You have the choice. The world may try to trick you or hurt you; keep going. The key to that is having goals. Our goal is to show up, score, and win this game.”
Gameday Speech Before the Game:
”So here we are. We have arrived together at this moment. We have accomplished our first, and most important goal, we showed up and we are ready.
We are ready to perform and we are ready to win. Catholics vs. Convict. Haves vs. the have nots. Call it what you want. Give it a title, call it a name. We are not here to talk, we are here to work. That’s how we speak.
The men across from you may be better equipped. In life, they may have greater opportunities and connections. They may seem to have the advantages, but they too need to show up and perform. They are humans just like you and I. They can be injured and defeated just like you and I.
The truth and the differences between are not always what you have and who you know. We showed up just like them. We prepared and practiced just like them. We line up just like them. We have both faced great adversity. We have both had success and failure. This is the moment to perform and execute our plans. This is the moment to win. We live for these moments. We live for these challenges. This is football, this is the way of life.