Adventures in Networking
Today was an important day. I have been attending networking events lately and learned a great deal. The event was crowded and I was able to meet a few people and participate in insightful conversations. I always reflect later on my presentation the questions I asked, how I listened, and my observations in the world around me. The concepts are strong and resilient but, there is always room to improve. I will always be that way.
I did not really know anyone there and after a conversation ended I saw myself ever so slowly becoming a wall flower. Soon, I was standing alone, sipping the last bit of my fourth lemon water! (I like to be clear headed at these events so I can absorb the totality of the interactions in their entirety so I don’t do much drinking).
I looked for an opportunity to introject but there is no need to rush. Rather than break into another conversation to be drowned out by background music, I saw the perfect moment to make an exit. I decided to go for a walk in the cool night air, jump on the trolley, and head home.
During my walk I thought deeply about the event. It was amazing. My thoughts about what I had just experienced and learned revolve from positive supporting my strengths and critical focus on my various lacks.
When I arrived, I spoke to one of the local college program directors. During our ultra brief conversation about human interaction, I had a great insight. I realized my path is so different that my positive message to a young generation, the message that I would deliver to my own child, is rooted in the truth of a “start from scratch” situation and my mindset during challenging times.
The new generation needs less technical information. The internet provides an endless stream of data at their fingertips. I believe they will need to know the mental and emotional aspects of situations.
Think about it: When I was growing up, technical information needed to be ripped away from a source; a book or a person. Now, that information is easily available. When I was young, my thoughts and feelings were more protected. Personal information flowed a lot slower. I had time to think about things and understand the emotions behind those thoughts. Now, young people are bombarded with so much information they are almost numb and at a loss. They don’t understand that it is normal to be apprehensive and afraid. Young folks are constantly fed images of fearless individuals challenging life and they are no longer able to discern that the image is just a snapshot. If a picture says a thousand words and we view thousands of images a day, we live in a society that is overwhelmed and litter with a collected broken psyche. We need to take in our professional experiences and show them the same travelled paths from new perspectives that an image cannot capture.
Those notions brought me back to the building industry. Real estate is a tough business. Creating opportunities through a network is critical. Real estate is filled with strong people. To participate, you too must be strong and bring value to the table. I realize that each path is unique and the arrival at a destination can take numerous paths.
The most important thing to do is be yourself: be true to you and where you are right now. In development, the notion of “fake it till you make it” is a steaming load of garbage. These experienced sharks that stalk the vast oceans can smell a phony from miles and miles away. Sharks are stealthy and smooth and loaded with smiling teeth. Being a phony is like swimming outside of the cage and you’ll be surrounded. Hell, even when you’re genuine the sharks will circle and see what’s going on. Being a phony ensures that you’re going to become a satisfying meal.
Decorated Navy Seal Admiral McRaven once said something like: “if you swim with the sharks you need to be prepared to punch’em in the nose.” If you’re fakin it till you make it, you’ve got no punch.
Don’t be afraid to appear vulnerable even if it makes you look less strong. That sounds like awful advice, I know, but I believe it to be the correct way. I believe a genuine character is the first semblance that leads to levels of trust. Being totally real doesn’t need to say “here, take advantage of me.” Being real with yourself and confident in your capabilities says “I am planted on the ground, I know where I’m at, I know where I want to go, and dammit, I’m on my way to get there!”
An experience developer once told me to “control the deal.” I pondered this thought for over a week. I kept arriving back at the same conclusion: how can you exert any control when you have very little up front leverage? Then, I realized that a start up does have a great deal of leverage.It is simple - You still have the option to say yes or no. If a bad deal is placed before you, it can be rejected. You benefit in the long run by not advancing on a deal that will inevitably crush you and another option can be considered. The other party walks away from a riskier situation and it’s still win-win.
From my perspective, I always put myself in the shoes of the investor. I would be just as brutally skeptical if I listened to myself. I am looking for financial partners that see a bigger picture and understand where the potential can lead. Small things lead to big things and a real estate start up groomed to grow can bear generous harvests for many years.
The most important aspect is to be patient and learn. The learning is sometimes easy if you allow yourself to be open and listen. Being patient when you can envision the finished work is tough. Just remember that you bring value to the table. If you are willing to take on the risk you will learn the ropes.
I learned that you need to find your advantages. I spoke to a gentleman this evening and it was an enjoyable talk. He spoke of his working relationships and was fortunate to have the ability to chase sites with flexibility due to their access to capital. Man! Take your advantages and run with them all the way! Although I would love to be in that situation, I am not. So, what advantages do I have? I have skills and stories. Skills get the job done and good stories create interest. Gaining the skills is crucial and knowing when to unveil your stories, the stories that you craft and tell, is just as important.
Finally, as I was making my way to the exit, I saw the university administrator taking a selfie photo with a friend. I quickly offered: “here let me take a photo of you two.” She looked back at me puzzled, showed me the image and said: “This is good right?”
“Yes” I replied and jammed out of the room. While crossing the street in downtown during my walk I began to laugh. OK, now I get it! I wasn’t thinking about it but I put myself in her shoes. Here’s this guy wanting to put his hands on my phone and take a photo. That’s is pre-pandemic way of thinking. I was just suggesting quickly in passing but then it dawned on me later. So now I’m chuckling to myself in the center of downtown. I’m stepping at a brisk pace, the night is so beautiful with the radiance of a million twinkling lights. I am at peace. I am laughing and smiling but no one knows because I simply put on my mask and kept going on my merry way!
Bottom Line: I am capable and deserving through diligence and hard work. Some questions still require answers and the puzzle slowly pieces together. The notion of “Soon” can imply “right now!” or something ongoing but not quite there yet. I’d be conservative and say I reside right in the center.