(De)Sensitized in a Sensitive World

An old old friend reached out to me recently. I thought: wow, it’s been quite a while. It’s been so long that honestly, it doesn’t really matter to reconnect at all. We’ve already created a series of interesting, yet insignificant stories; why bother.

This guy always brings back an awesome realization about our neighborhood and upbringing. My friend was a thin white guy with long hair, tie died t-shirts, and didn’t always wear shoes. He would get excited and introduced me to his favorite Pink Floyd songs. Basically, he was cool as fuck and I loved him like a brother.

He and his brother were San Diego beach types and his family somehow lived not so far away from where I grew up, ten miles east of the beach.

When we got older, we would all make these long adventures to the beach. He would pick us up in a busted up car with the passenger door that was tied up and wouldn’t open. It was a luxury vehicle with a choice of untie the door or climb the f**k out Dukes of Hazard style.

The front door of their beach bungalow would be left unlocked and the neighborhood guys would gather inside before anyone got home. It was a weekend hangout spot and a few interesting (I think they were interesting) parties.

This guy was cool as they come, but you can’t take guys like that for granted. He still grew up away from the beach in our neighborhood and he would for sure punch you in the mouth if necessary. He was so unassuming and I loved that.

When we were young there were a bunch of us hanging out at his parents house. We used to gather there, they had a pool table in the garage.

One day we gathered in the living room and three of us sat on the sofa watching tv. His parents were not home so we could go inside. When his parents car pulled up, we would in unison, rise from the couch and head back to the garage.

Suddenly, there was some great rumbling like the walls were shaking. We thought nothing of it. The rumbling started again.

I looked over to the kitchen that was divided by a wall and a double wide opening. In the frame of that opening came the rumbling. My friend and his brother were having a violent fist fight in the kitchen.

My eyebrows raised; interesting! They stepped out of view and the rumble continued; then quickly back into view. The punches were flying in a flurry of madness. These were not sibling punches. These were hard, I’m knocking you out, I don’t know you, stranger type punches. I’m sure there were some obscenities mingled in there somewhere.

The event was an amazing sight; quite beautiful actually now that I think about it. It was like a dance of madness that flowed in and out of view but I could still hear and feel the rumble. It was like the new movie theater seats that vibrate with the action.

I’ll never forget that moment (until I forget that moment… haha). We just looked over and they were going at it real hard. It was a striking scene. What was more striking is that not one of us on the sofa got up to try and break up the fight. I don’t believe anyone said anything. We just let them have at it. Hell, it was their house! Who am I to get in between brothers having it out in the comfort of their own home?

What we witnessed was nothing new. It was a brother’ quarrel. I will say that those guys love each other dearly. However, at that moment they let it go. They were good guys and it shows that you can’t underestimate anyone.

Our brief reconnection made me think about that and how similar events affect people in today’s society where the detailing is ultra-tricky. I wonder if it makes me more or less sensitive to the surrounding world. It makes me consider how things are and what they could become. There is a lot of shouting and posturing. People want to be heard and they demand their voices are heard.

I think people are heard. In most cases people are heard loud and clear. The problem is we have shifted the concept of having one’s voice acknowledged with agreement.

In some cases folks say that they are not being heard, but what they mean is that the other party might have heard them loud and clear, but simply did not agree with their ideas and perspectives.

It seems society is desensitized and sensitized (if that’s even a word) simultaneously. Just like watching a violent throw-down that didn’t result in a dramatic call to action. Uncontrolled advocacy, and the propensity to advocate for every issue as one of critical priority, dilutes future vocal impact. People are forced to parse out what information they can handle and throw out the rest. It’s overstimulation: “oh, it’s just more protestors.”

Now, when we see a fight, we look. When we see something more intense, we rise to action. Even with the increasing intensity of events, most things are just a rumble and loud talking. When there is disagreement, it is accompanied by emotion. When you think about it, the emotion is there whether we agree, or disagree. If you agree with the position, there is a positive anger: YEAH! agreement! and the event continues. If you disagree with the position, there is a negative anger: No! Disagreement! and the event continues but at an increased velocity.

Sometimes, you witness the action and you just gotta let it go and work itself out. Some people do not understand that. It’s interesting.